We are deep diving into November and the speed of the fall months always astounds us. Families are in the groove of the new school year, schedules set, and a familiar pace is enjoyed. However, some are experiencing a concern or even anxiety following the recent parent-teacher conferences. “He is a little behind the others in reading”, “We think she needs a little extra support with spelling and writing”, or “He cannot seem to focus or sit quietly and is disturbing the other students” are phrases you might be hearing.
I am going to say something that sounds very contrary to what you want to hear. The commentary that many fear, but is actually good, is “We would like to do some extra testing with your child”, or “Let’s look into an IEP and extra support for your son/daughter.” Why is this a positive thing? If your child struggles with reading and spelling, they are invariably feeling down on themselves. I will outright say to a child, “You are not stupid” and you can see their shoulders relax and a relief wash over them. “Stupid” is not a word any of us are comfortable with, but honestly, it is what he/she is thinking and fearing.
However, many parents do not want their child to be labeled with dyslexia. They worry that he will be treated differently by his peers and teachers. I have had countless parents tell me they don’t want this label to follow their child through high school and beyond. Plot twist: you do want this to follow them throughout life. The more you and your child embrace their neurodiverse brain, the more empowered you both will feel. Children and adults with dyslexia have a rich and visual brain that I am sorely jealous of. They see things in a way that creates incredible art, buildings, science, etc. Albert Einstein, Steven Spielberg, Cher, Pablo Picasso, Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Whoopi Goldberg, Muhammad Ali….the list goes on and on. On a personal note, I have two daughters with dyslexia, and would love to see the world through their eyes, as well as accomplish what they have in their still short journeys. My youngest daughter completely owns her neurodiversity. She demands accommodations and support for her struggles with reading and spelling. She is a nurse on the cardiac/icu unit and is in high demand for her skills. The dyslexic label has held her back in no way; she owns and embraces it. She is also as eloquent as her sister, but they both know it is hard work to transfer that to writing. We did a lot of “I will type and you talk” on their papers, and this gave them the opportunity to fully express themselves. Again, if I had my oldest write this blog, there would be a beauty and groove to it that I could never attain. Yes, I got carried away with the proud mama commentary, but, am trying to convey the importance of not fearing the label. Embrace it and watch your son or daughter stand in their strength and become the best version of themselves.
Our traditional educational system does not teach to this type of learner. I tell my clients, “You are a different kind of learner and your school needs to work with you, not the other way around. Tell your teacher you need some more time on a test. Ask if you can present your book report as a play or puppet show, rather than a written recount. You do not have to read out loud in class and I guarantee you are not the only one who dreads it.” These kids are creative and teachers are overwhelmed, so why not encourage both parties to have your son or daughter create artistic ways to learn and interact in the classroom. Again, embrace their brilliant minds and let their neurodiversity fly.
Scott Sonnen, a professional athlete said, “I didn’t succeed despite my dyslexia, but because of it. It wasn’t my deficit, but my advantage. Although there are neurological trade-offs that require that I work creatively and smarter in reading, writing and speaking, I would never wish to be any other way than my awesome self. I love being me, regardless of the early challenges I had faced.”
