Fall is here and many parents are breathing a sigh of relief as their kids head off to school. The unscheduled chaos of summer is over and I remember loving the rhythm of the bus picking up and dropping off my kids, with the sweet break in between. As well, most children are just as excited to see their friends daily, meet their new teacher and all that comes with that—a different desk, fresh school supplies, new clothes, and the anticipation of what they will learn with the new school year.
However, what about the child that greets all this with tears, stomach aches, and anxiety? The parents are seriously befuddled. Who doesn’t like going back to school? What is wrong with my child? Have I done something to create this? These are all common questions that parents do not often get answers to and find themselves blindly navigating this stress.
Sadly, it is not until parent-teacher conferences when they are confronted with: “Your child is behind in school.” Or, “Your son cannot sit still in the classroom and is disrupting the other children.” And, “Your daughter is continually daydreaming and missed the instructions from the teacher.” Or, “Your child is struggling with spelling and their handwriting is messy.” My personal favorite, and yes, this happens: “Your son is not self-motivated and procrastinates in the classroom and with his homework.”
Ironically, these characteristics are all signs of dyslexia and quite often missed. Sally Shaywitz, author of Overcoming Dyslexia, writes, “If you cannot penetrate and decode enough words on a page, reading is like gliding over ice. You never get into the words and, of course, their meanings. Why would someone continue to pay attention to words that have no meaning for him? Would you continue to read what is in essence a foreign text that you cannot decipher? After a while you would lose attention, start daydreaming, stare out the window and then give up.” Shaywitz also states, “There is one final clue to dyslexia in children and adults alike: the fact that they say they are in pain. Dyslexia inflicts pain. It represents a major assault on self-esteem. In grade school children, this may be expressed as a reluctance to attend school or moodiness or spoken expressions such as ‘I’m dumb’ or ‘I get teased a lot.’”
So who has the answer? You do. You know your child best and your intuition is your greatest guide. Something is wrong and even if you are not sure what it is, you are your child’s greatest advocate. This is when Mama and/or Papa Bear need to kick in and demand attention to their child. Do not accept, “They all read at a different pace. Let’s just give her some more time.” The best time for intervention is kindergarten or first grade. It becomes much more difficult for the brain to create the pathways needed for successful reading after this point. Demand an assessment and if this doesn’t happen then find an outside source. Educate yourself. Become knowledgeable about dyslexia, IEP meetings, interventions, and accommodations. I have every one of my parents read Dyslexia Advocate by Kelli Sandman-Hurley. Kelli does a fantastic job of navigating the legal system and empowering the parent to advocate for their child in their school.
The greatest gift you can give your child is acknowledging and advocating for him. This affirms that there is nothing wrong with her and you have her back. One in five children and adults have dyslexia. Your child is not the only one in the classroom struggling with reading and spelling. These kids have amazing brains and incredible gifts that need to be nourished at school and at home. Raising the level of awareness around this type of learner will help our community grow and thrive.
